Why I did not charge the monster to court?
Monday, June 24, 2013
I sue you sue I sue you.
The previous blogpost was a controversial one about the haunted houses I went to in the past. Many of you had shared your experiences with me or told me that you had also went to those houses before.... Well, if you have not, share it with me!!
Today's post will also be a controversial one and many strangers out there would definitely have something to say just like what you all had commented on STOMP and EDMW.
Actually....I did see many more rude and downright atrocious comments online but I shall not probe any further because hey, "FREEDOM OF SPEECH!" I know, I know!
I was inspired by Juli from BunBunMakeUpTips to write this post because she was feeling what I had felt and kept inside me for a long long time.
If you had read Jolene's Story, you would know what my stepfather had did to me when I was just 11 years old, a young Primary 5 girl.
If you have not read it, what are you waiting for?
Get a copy at the nearest bookstores! Popular, Times, Kinokuniya or buy as an ebook online!! You are missing out if you had not read my book!
Anyway, many have asked why did I not charge him/sue him to court and why did I not use the law to imprison him in jail.
(1)It happened exactly 12 years ago.
(2)I did not want my step-brothers to live without both parents. (I have mentioned this many many times in radio interview, in newspaper interviews and all various media interviews.)
I am not trying to portray myself as a noble and selfless sister and I don't need anyone telling me that I am stupid.
The main purpose of "Jolene's Story" is stated right here on Marshall Cavendish's Website.
It is not to focus on the abuse that I went through but it is to reach out to abuse victims out there and tell them NOT to blame themselves and actually they should of course step out earlier to prosecute their abusers.
You may say it is not too late for me to do so, to prosecute him and to let him be punished by the law but for me, it is TOO late.
At the moment of time, nobody believed that I was sexually abused except for my late grandfather who was the one who convinced my mother that it was the truth. I had been charged and was put into Singapore Girls' Home. The authorities only spoke to me in year 2008 but I told them not to carry on with the charges towards the monster. Why?
(3) I know some of you truly care but the majority out there are just mere spectators. I am just your pawn in the game. It is the same with the case of Mr.Ng Boon Gay/Pastor Kong Hee. Most of you do not truly care about them. You all are just outsiders who are CURIOUS as to what is going to happen to them and whether or not they win or lose their cases, no effect will be upon you. You will most probably forget about them 2 years down the road until a similar case happens again. It is the same for me. I will appear on the news headlines "Girl, sexually abused at 11. Standing on trial against predator only 12 years later."
Do you think that I am happy that the person who violated me has not been punished by the law? Do you know that I still get nightmares of the incident over and over again but I refuse to let them affect me? Do you know how it feels when up to this moment of time, he is still denying it and spreading rumors that I wrote rubbish in the book? He has ruined my whole childhood and my teenage years, I do not want him to continue to ruin the rest of my life.
If I wanted, I could have just posted his photo here on my blog but I was afraid that my laptop would be infected with a virus.(Just kidding).. but seriously speaking, I can give you the link to his Facebook account, I could tell you his name, his occupation and even tell you where he lives. BUT NO, I refuse to behave like how YOU think I should. I refuse to act on impulse and try to ruin his life just like how he had ruined mine.
Writing the book and getting it published was a way of attaining vigilante justice although in actual fact it did not punish him in any way.
Look at what the general public thinks :
"So pretty and cute, if I am the step father, I also cannot tahan leh."
"This is quite common what... step father or brothers doing such things. lol, no need to write one book meh.. I think teenagers won't wanna read it. maybe old ppl will like."
I really WORRY for people like that. Is looking good a crime? Sorry to say, I looked hideous in the past when I did not know how to doll up and put on make-up. Even with make-up, I looked like some getai singer so I don't think that being beautiful was the reason I was sexually violated. How can sexual abuse even be COMMON? You mean it is right to violate someone whether it is physically or sexually just because it is COMMON?? Are you for real?
I have, however, met many many awesome and amazing people through this journey of becoming an author and I have never regretted putting my story out for the public to scrutinize. A few thousand people by now knows about my life story and I am fine with that.
Stop asking me why I was so stupid to let him off scot-free? I did not have much of a choice.
Connect with me on Imotiv! Download the app now : IMOTIV!
The previous blogpost was a controversial one about the haunted houses I went to in the past. Many of you had shared your experiences with me or told me that you had also went to those houses before.... Well, if you have not, share it with me!!
Today's post will also be a controversial one and many strangers out there would definitely have something to say just like what you all had commented on STOMP and EDMW.
Actually....I did see many more rude and downright atrocious comments online but I shall not probe any further because hey, "FREEDOM OF SPEECH!" I know, I know!
I was inspired by Juli from BunBunMakeUpTips to write this post because she was feeling what I had felt and kept inside me for a long long time.
If you had read Jolene's Story, you would know what my stepfather had did to me when I was just 11 years old, a young Primary 5 girl.
If you have not read it, what are you waiting for?
Get a copy at the nearest bookstores! Popular, Times, Kinokuniya or buy as an ebook online!! You are missing out if you had not read my book!
Anyway, many have asked why did I not charge him/sue him to court and why did I not use the law to imprison him in jail.
(1)It happened exactly 12 years ago.
(2)I did not want my step-brothers to live without both parents. (I have mentioned this many many times in radio interview, in newspaper interviews and all various media interviews.)
I am not trying to portray myself as a noble and selfless sister and I don't need anyone telling me that I am stupid.
The main purpose of "Jolene's Story" is stated right here on Marshall Cavendish's Website.
It is not to focus on the abuse that I went through but it is to reach out to abuse victims out there and tell them NOT to blame themselves and actually they should of course step out earlier to prosecute their abusers.
You may say it is not too late for me to do so, to prosecute him and to let him be punished by the law but for me, it is TOO late.
At the moment of time, nobody believed that I was sexually abused except for my late grandfather who was the one who convinced my mother that it was the truth. I had been charged and was put into Singapore Girls' Home. The authorities only spoke to me in year 2008 but I told them not to carry on with the charges towards the monster. Why?
(3) I know some of you truly care but the majority out there are just mere spectators. I am just your pawn in the game. It is the same with the case of Mr.Ng Boon Gay/Pastor Kong Hee. Most of you do not truly care about them. You all are just outsiders who are CURIOUS as to what is going to happen to them and whether or not they win or lose their cases, no effect will be upon you. You will most probably forget about them 2 years down the road until a similar case happens again. It is the same for me. I will appear on the news headlines "Girl, sexually abused at 11. Standing on trial against predator only 12 years later."
- Will you be there for me every single day if I choose to go on trial against my the sexual predator?
- Will you pay for my legal fees whether or not I win or lose the case?
- Will you cry with me if I lose the case?
- Will you protect me against judgement of the public if I lose the case and than call me a liar because I know that is the expected response from everyone?
- Will you know how it feels to be scrutinized by the public/media everyday for being a sexual abuse victim?
- Will you know how it feels to repeat the whole abuse process again in the courtroom and having to see him indirectly tormenting me?
- What would you gain if I win the case? "See, I told you. She sure win one lah."
- What you say if I lose the case? "See, I told you, She's a liar. Attention seeker only lah write book."
- Telling me to sue him is easy, you just have to speak but what do I have to go through????
This is what Juli had written on her recent blogpost and it says EXACTLY what I feel although we are talking about 2 different subjects.
"You are a spectator. You place a bet on me because you think I’ll win, you take your seat and wait for the show to begin.
I am the matador facing an angry, charging 800KG bull.
If I die, you say ‘Awww, that sucks’. You leave the stadium. You move on with your life.
I, the matador, am dead.
It is so easy to say ‘WHY ARE YOU NOT SUING THEM?!! YOU’RE BEING STUPID BY PROTECTING THEM!!’
Talk is cheap.
Will you sue the salon for me? Will you support me if this really ends up in court? Will you pay for my legal fees? Will you be there in the court room with me? Will you even care about how my case develops two months down the road?
I will be, by then, old news. You will move on with your life while mine is in shambles.
Only the intelligent have told me my decision to not disclose the name thus far is a wise move. Only those who truly care say my decision is commendable and shows just how sensible/mature I am in handling the situation.
The general misconception is that if someone does you wrong, you sue. The reality is far from this, really. There are many steps and actions you can take before you actually stand trial.
As much as I’m hurting and suffering from all that the salon has subjected to, I am logical. Right from the start, even with physical and mental torture, I have been rational."
Do you think that I am happy that the person who violated me has not been punished by the law? Do you know that I still get nightmares of the incident over and over again but I refuse to let them affect me? Do you know how it feels when up to this moment of time, he is still denying it and spreading rumors that I wrote rubbish in the book? He has ruined my whole childhood and my teenage years, I do not want him to continue to ruin the rest of my life.
If I wanted, I could have just posted his photo here on my blog but I was afraid that my laptop would be infected with a virus.(Just kidding).. but seriously speaking, I can give you the link to his Facebook account, I could tell you his name, his occupation and even tell you where he lives. BUT NO, I refuse to behave like how YOU think I should. I refuse to act on impulse and try to ruin his life just like how he had ruined mine.
Writing the book and getting it published was a way of attaining vigilante justice although in actual fact it did not punish him in any way.
Look at what the general public thinks :
"So pretty and cute, if I am the step father, I also cannot tahan leh."
"This is quite common what... step father or brothers doing such things. lol, no need to write one book meh.. I think teenagers won't wanna read it. maybe old ppl will like."
I really WORRY for people like that. Is looking good a crime? Sorry to say, I looked hideous in the past when I did not know how to doll up and put on make-up. Even with make-up, I looked like some getai singer so I don't think that being beautiful was the reason I was sexually violated. How can sexual abuse even be COMMON? You mean it is right to violate someone whether it is physically or sexually just because it is COMMON?? Are you for real?
I have, however, met many many awesome and amazing people through this journey of becoming an author and I have never regretted putting my story out for the public to scrutinize. A few thousand people by now knows about my life story and I am fine with that.
Stop asking me why I was so stupid to let him off scot-free? I did not have much of a choice.
Connect with me on Imotiv! Download the app now : IMOTIV!
Labels: Biography, Emotional, Jolene's Story, Life, Local Author, Truth
[REVIEW] EIGHTEEN CHEFS.
Thursday, April 25, 2013
18 CHEFS.
"The owner and Executive Chef, Benny Se Teo says that the number ‘18’ is the moniker of the active local gang. 'I want delinquents to know that life offers many alternative paths. You don't have to identify as a gangster, you can be a chef’."
Today, I am going to blog about my FAVORITE TOPIC which I think all of you guys should already know by now, what is it if you have been following me on Social Media for a long long time..I actually started a food blog some time ago but I have totally forgotten what is the name of it and I never kept up with making it a success so as you can see now, I should just blog on my own blog for now. Haha! Anyway, I am getting really bored of my blog layout and I suck at HTMLs and customized templates so is there any kind soul who wants to help me to re-design my blog template, renovate it and give it a new look? Email me and let me know! =)
Back to our topic...
I have heard of "Eighteen Chefs" since a long long time ago but I have never had a chance to try it because Tiong Bahru was somewhere I hardly travel to. In fact, I don't think I have ever been there, seriously! I stay in the North East now and the majority of my friends are all here so I rarely travel to the South or West side of Singapore unless there is a need to.
Just imagine my excitement when I heard that "Eighteen Chefs" was opening it's second branch at Cathay Cineleisure and it's a place that I frequent!!! This restaurant is not just a place to fill your stomach with good food, there is a story behind it. Chef Benny is Singapore's version of Jamie Oliver and he is someone whom I really respect and I would want to salute him one day. He actually trains ex-convicts who are serving their term for the last few months to provide them with a newer leash of life after they are released.
Photo credits to Chef's Benny FACEBOOK.
Do not be intimidated by his "garang" exterior. He may look really hard to approach but as soon as I saw him at Cathay Cineleisure last Saturday, I greeted him with a smile and he did the same. I really respect him a lot and I find him really cute! Haha. I looked up to him because he has this father figure and he also went through the same thing that my biological father did. My father should be around Chef Benny's age now I guess? I'm not sure and let's not get there.... Anyway, like my father, Chef Benny fought against drug addiction and was in and out of prison for a period of time. Overcoming all these was not easy and being able to stand out as a chef to help others in need is the most amazing thing ever. He started a restaurant to help wayward youths/convicts and I started a book to do that. Are we both amazing? We are but he is so much better!
If you are an adventurous person, do try and be your chef when it comes to ordering the famous baked rice/pasta available there! There are 8 sauces offered, 3 ingredients and 12 top-ups to choose to pair with your pasta or rice. It is such an interesting perk for customers to fulfill their craving!
I am a pasta person and I also love Thai cuisine at the same time so when I saw "Tom Yam Aglio Olio" on the menu, I almost jumped for joy!
I had the "Soup Of The Day" for starters and it surprised me indeed. It looked really normal but it doesn't taste as near as the normal Campbell soup! (Although I am a HUGE fan of Campbell soup!) It not only has the normal mushroom taste but it has a tinge of corn to it. I don't like corn soup but this is just well balanced and satisfying!
I looked around the restaurant before placing my order for the drink and because I took up Combo C which comes with soup and a drink, I could choose whether I wanted Ice Lemon Tea or any other available beverages. The ice lemon tea is really nice with just the right amount of sweet and sour taste for my taste-buds You know how some ice lemon tea are either too bland or they are too sour? Here at Eighteen Chefs, it is just nice!
I know my photos don't look very appealing... (Sorry Chef Benny!) but I took them with my iPhone 5 so please forgive me. I still have not implemented the habit of bringing my camera out wherever I go! I will okay, in time to come! As of now, I can't find my camera... HAHAHAHA. I know it is somewhere and I will find it. See how positive I am!
I am done talking about Eighteen Chefs and if you really want to know how good their food is, head down to the restaurant today, or tomorrow or this weekend!
Like their facebook page now -> EIGHTEEN CHEFS!
Many more interesting and great posts coming up! I will be emailing the winner of my giveaway today and I am so touched at the many responses from so many readers! I love you all, xoxo! Every email, pm, tweet, dm means so much to me. Follow me on twitter/instagram @JoleneSnow if you haven't done so! See the world through my eyes!
Till the next time! =)
Disclaimer : This review was based on my personal experience and opinion, not being paid to do so!
Labels: Chef Benny, Eighteen Chefs, Food, Friends, Life, Reviews
LEVI'S 501 INTERPRETATION EVENT @ ION ORCHARD! (Celebrity Edition)
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
LEVI'S 501 INTERPRETATION EVENT.
Thanks to OMY! , I was able to grace an event that was so fun and entertaining! I got to see some really nice celebrities and also ogle at some hunks! The event was held last Saturday, 20th of April at Ion Orchard.
I am sure I need not tell you more about the brand Levi's because I am sure that everyone has heard of it! If you have never heard of it, you must be living in the mountains!
"The Levi’s® brand epitomizes classic American style and effortless cool. Since their invention by Levi Strauss & Co. in 1873, Levi’s® jeans have become the most recognizable and imitated clothing in the world – capturing the imagination and loyalty of people for generations. Today, the Levi’s® brand portfolio continues to evolve through a relentless pioneering and innovative spirit that is unparalleled in the apparel industry. Our range of leading jeans-wear and accessories are available in more than 110 countries, allowing individuals around the world to express their personal style."
Did you know that they are celebrating their 140th anniversary this year? That is so amazing, such a long history dating back from now!
"The same as always, like never before
Levi’s® 501® jeans hold a seminal place in
fashion history and over the last 140 years have developed into a cultural
icon. From presidents to movie stars, rock stars to fashion icons, and artists
to pioneers in technology – Levi’s® 501® jeans are among the most worn and loved
jeans in the world.
This Spring/Summer 2013, the Levi’s® brand is
marking the 140th anniversary of its iconic 501® jeans by
introducing a non-denim Levi’s® 501® collection for the first time. Breaking
with tradition, yet maintaining the product’s true essence and timeless spirit,
the three-piece non-denim collection is available in true chino, chalk blue and
mineral red. The brand will also unveil the next generation in Levi’s® 501®
jeans, which feature subtle and thoughtful changes to the design aesthetic,
tailoring the product for the pioneers of today.
Throughout the ages, Levi’s® 501® jeans have
constantly evolved and adapted to stay relevant to each new generation, while
never losing their distinct heritage. The next generation of Levi’s® 501® jeans
and non-denim pants, give the wearer a slightly tighter silhouette, more
comfort around the waist, feature slightly larger pockets to store your latest
smart phone, and have a shallower yoke for a cleaner aesthetic. They also feature
stronger stitching and reinforced belt loops, inseams, buttonholes and cuffs. Craftsmanship
and authenticity remain at the forefront, which is why Levi’s® 501® jeans also
improve with age – molding to the contours of the wearers body overtime and
creating a bespoke fit and finish for this perfect classic and timeless jeans."
Now that you know more about Levi's and it's history, I shall shower you with photos of the event!
Look at the die-hard fans of Ya Hui, Felicia Chin, Tosh Zhang and Ian Fang... They were already at the venue at 9 am in the morning when the event actually starts at 2 pm! Will any of my readers do this? Haha, joke okay!
Us bloggers getting our cameras ready to click and snap!
The crowd went crazy as the celebrities came out to strut their stuffs and do a catwalk on stage as they were all donned in their own Levi's apparels. Each of them had their own different styles!!
Ivy Tan from Yes 933 radio station was the host of the day and she was really entertaining! She looks so punk-rock in her Levi's gear of the day and her photos really don't do her justice because they seemed so different!
Felicia Chin looking so gorgeous and she was so friendly during the photo-taking! Such a sweet and humble actress!
Ian Fang showing his swag in his preppy Levi's overalls. He looked so decent and suave at the same time! I mentioned in my previous blog-post that I really like him because he was improved tremendously in his acting and he has put in so much hard work to become a more outstanding actor!
Next was Ya Hui looking super rock-chick! I totally dig her dressing that day!
Looking good huh? Fans of Tosh Zhang, I hear you all screaming!!!
Look at how versatile and amazing Levi's fashion is? 4 of them celebs are all wearing Levi's apparels but each with their own unique styles!
The event started with each of them describing their OOTD (Outfit Of The Day) and were we amazed at the trendy styles they came up with! Did you know that Felicia is actually wearing a man's shirt? She designed the style herself!
They proceeded to the games part where they had to label different parts on a Levi's jeans and Felicia and her partner won!
My favorite part of the event! 8 days shirtless guys were also part of the event and the celebrities have to dress up these shirtless hunks in different unique Levi's apparels! They weren't really shirtless... HOW I WISH THOUGH! Haha.
Tosh did a hip-hop break dance in his Levi's gear to show everyone how comfortable his outfit was that he can do difficult break dance moves in it!
This was my favorite shirtless hunk and I voted for him! Joon Ming!
Here are some clearer and nicer photos of me and the four celebrities!
I KNOW LAH, I am very short right. Don't pin-point hor, I know it and I will go and self-reflect and buy higher heels next time okay! HAHAHAHHAHA!
I really enjoyed my time at the event that day! Thank you Omy for this awesome opportunity!
By now, you all should know that I quite like Ian Fang so let me "HAO LIAN" one more time can? Teehee!
Also, I would like to thank Hui Qi and Amanda for accompanying me for the event!
A rare day whereby there is only one self-shot of me! So precious, must appreciate ok!
At the event, I met another fellow blogger who shared similar interests with me and I am so happy to know her! I hope to attend future events with her. See you around CYNDI ! =)
My OOTD for that day.
______________________________________________________________________________
Contest
Log on to LEVI'S WEBSITE from April 8 to share your 501® style interpretation!All you have to do is upload a photo of yourself in a pair of Levi’s® 501® jeans, and include a short write-up explaining your style inspiration.
The top 5 styles will each be rewarded with $300 cash & $200 Levi’s® vouchers! Quick! Good luck and I wish you all the best! Please bring me to Levi's to do some shopping after you win! =D
Xoxo, till the next time.
Labels: 501, Celebrities, Event, Felicia Chin, HappyEverywhere, Ian Fang, Levi's, Life, Mediacorp, OmyBlogClub, OmySg, Reviews, Takashimaya, Tosh Zhang, Voucher, Xu Ya Hui
