JoleneSnow -Girl who went through hell to finally meet heaven.
I need advice.
Thursday, June 06, 2013

I hope the above title doesn't scare you but I really need some advice now. 

How do I start? 

I am lost and am stuck in a maze now. 

I've worked full time for about 3 years now. I've been in the customer service line and mostly in the corporate sales line. The problem with me now is... I don't know what I want to do with my life, all of a sudden.

Yes, I am a published author and I am loving that fact. BUT, authors don't get rich and it's not as if I became J.K Rowling overnight. Sad to say, jobs that deals with art rarely pays well here. Still, nothing will stop me from continuing to write. 

I left my first job because the pay was really little and even though the boss recognized my potential and said I excelled in the job, he wouldn't pay me more and instead hired more foreigners for the job paying them double of my salary.

I left my second job because I had fought very hard to get the commission I deserve but no, I never got it. I mean who stays in a sales job that doesn't pay commission? I work so hard to clinch sales and hit my target but I only get a basic salary. It just doesn't seem fair to me. 

I got my scholarship from MDIS and I thought of working part-time during my studies from this year until 2015 but I know that it just would not work because I have to fend for myself, repay family's debts(FML) and pay the bills. 

I tried out two jobs for a few months and it just is not working out!! The current one I am in.. It pays well but I am just so unmotivated because I have zero confidence that I can sell the product well AT ALL. 

Sometimes, I feel so down as if my life is just screwed. I love to write, I want to act and I want to have my own business. I am hoping that Jolene's Story can be made into a movie but hey, who would have faith that it would sell? Jolene's Story is not even a bestseller. I have tried to market my book as much as possible but well, I am just a nobody. That's a fact.

Writing can't sustain me because I do not have enough experience OR qualifications to be an editor, a journalist or whatever writer.. even a web content writer because I am not good with handling websites. (even though I did a good job with LOBANG X.) I can't join the acting industry because I have a full-time job now and can't go for auditions. I went for a few before though and I never got selected. I need time and I need luck but sad to say, I can't afford to. 

Being a 23 year old with barely any savings in the bank makes me feel damn lousy about myself. I don't spend a lot but I just use a lot of the money I earned to pay debts. That's bloody sad, I know. 

I have an online blogshop with my bestie and although we are not any big brands but we do our best for it and hope to make it big one day. I have a registered business with James but this is only the beginning of our start-up and I cannot afford to quit my full-time to focus on it because I just cannot afford to. 

I know that our previous generation are faithful and loyal people who joins a company and can last 10-40 years in there but why is it that I can't? I'm not even happy here, in my current one. People here asks me if I am autistic and why do I not socialize with people here?  People here freak out after hearing about Jolene's Story and nobody is genuinely concerned about me, I don't feel any belonging here at all. And is it my fault? Am I supposed to go around the office and talk to everyone I see. Some are arrogant and proud and some judge me almost instantly after knowing about "Jolene's Story." Nobody actually supports it or have any intention to buy my book to understand more. Nobody is genuine. And if I leave, people will start labeling me a "job-hopper." I can't just bear with it if I am unhappy in a job, I would leave because I see no point in staying. A job is an everyday thing, how can I be unhappy everyday?

I stayed on in my previous sales job because I found a dear friend in a colleague. We had our fights and disagreements but we still stuck to each other like sisters every time we face storms in our jobs. At least I had her. I also stayed a year plus in my first job because I met really nice people there, like my beloved godmother for example. Is it that genuine people don't exist anymore?

I had a two month job in my a printing firm this year and it was horrible because I felt like such an outcast and right now, in my current one... I feel the same way too.

I am online on job portals trying to find a greener pasture again but will I really find one that I can last in? Or....


I really don't know. If I can, I would quit this current one and focus on Lobang X to make it more established and stable and be comfortable on being my own boss. 

I need a direction. 

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Behind the glamour.

Who says a wayward kid will stay wayward forever? ™
Better Known as SNOW
I'm an Author, Entrepreneur and Glutton all in ONE!
12th October 1990, I'm a libran and lovin it!
I'm the author of (Jolene's Story), my first published memoir, a true life story under Marshall Cavendish!

-Wee Hwee Haw

Easily triggered emotionally and temperamentally. The perfect example of a girl who went through hell to finally meet heaven.

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Jolene's Story