No longer Rapunzel.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
I took a short hiatus from the previous post because if you have read the previous entry, I was not feeling good at the moment. I have not fully recovered from the previous episode yet but apparently, there is nothing I can do to save the situation anymore.
If I cannot change it, I can only choose to accept it.
I thought that this episode was already a very heart-wrenching one for me but another heartache had to be dropped on me this week. I received a phone call from MDIS and was told that my course was to be cancelled due to some reasons. I felt that the reasons were quite fishy and unreal but well, I can do nothing about them. However, they did mention that they will find a solution for me so I can only hope for the best. I was so looking forward to studying, really. I want to get my diploma as soon as possible and not feel inferior that I cannot join the media industry because of my lack of qualifications. Le sigh.
I have been trying to numb myself recently. I kept myself busy by doing so much in the day so that I can fall asleep at night due to extreme fatigue. I try my best to smile at everyone I see so that nobody would have to worry about me, I really try. For you guys and for you readers of Jolene's Story, I have to be strong so as to be your pillar of strength and as someone for you to look up to during your down times.
And if you all don't already know, I chopped off my hair. YES, my hair so long that I could sit on it. It was not an impulse act. I have been thinking about it for 2 long years!
I really disliked cutting my hair because the stepfather had instilled a fear in me when he ruined my hair when I was only 6. I loved my long locks of hair and protect them with my heart. But now,
I am no longer Rapunzel.
Many of you are so sad about the "disappearance" of my hair. Don't be! I am trying to let go of the emotional burden in my heart and my mind. I am feeling numb and the sadness deep down is in-explainable. Be happy for me instead :)
I've got over 100 likes on Facebook and Instagram complimenting about my new image and my bravery and I appreciated all you nice and kind people out there! Thank you so much! I have also had those who mourn about it and reprimanded me on why I did not keep the hair after it was cut... Uhm... I just didn't want to? I want to let go, not keep the burden.
Some others mentioned it was such a waste and that I did not look nice. Well, I feel good guys. I really feel really good. I feel more confident now and my short hair actually highlights my features! Many more people are complimenting that I am pretty instead of cute! (Although I would prefer both! =D )
Any hair saloon would like to sponsor me for a good hair-dying + treatment session? I want to take good care of my hair now that it is easier to tend and care for. It is so much faster to dry my hair now - an hour instead of 5!!
Nail care sponsors are welcome too. Any sponsors are welcome, basically. =D
Sorry, I really had to post so many photos of myself because I am trying to love myself more from now on. Really, I have to stop putting my heart out there to be stabbed over and over again, especially by my own blood relations.
James was the champion during Orchid Country Club's Fight Championship last last weekend on the 5th of May. So proud of my boy! *Photo credits to Everlast SG*
Thank you - to all the people who reads my blog on a regular basis and thank you to nice people I have known through Jolene's Story. You all think that I have inspired you and made you grown but you people are the reason I never give up too! Really!
Xoxo, till the next time!
