An emotional wordy rant. $BlogItemTitle$>
What a backdated blog I own, tsk. Lazy Snow is Lazy.
Recently, I have been working really hard and there are more jobs for me due to the Christmas season. I stopped taking allowances from my mother ever since I was 15 years old, I may not have mentioned this in my book but I have been feeding myself all these while, earning my own keeps.
Shamelessly, I dare to say that while many my age now may have savings of at least 2 to 5 thousand in their savings account, I have none. It's not that I spend a lot, in fact, I rarely spend at all. I used to have a full-time job earning from 1.2k a month to 1.8k per month. In the past, I had debts to help to pay for family members so I never got to any savings. I manage to get by but I could never have saved enough for a decent 10k at least to continue my studies for a private institution.
More people has read my book and I have received a fair share of encouragements on twitter where the sweet readers will tell me to be strong and move on with life. I also receive a fair share of very hateful feedback towards me. We all tell ourselves never to be affected but somehow, it always will, even for a short while.
Some are saying that I lied about my story and I fabricate a fake tale so as to gain sympathy and to gain popularity. Some ask me who do I think I am, some famous icon in SG? Some told me not to think too highly of myself. Hate comments about my looks than start to surface whenever I post a photo and claim that I am pretty. I like calling myself pretty and cute but I didn't ask anyone of you all to agree with me. It puzzles me why would people BUY my book, read it and than come and hate on me? Nobody forced you to buy the book, you could have walked pass it in the bookstore and not be the least interested to pick it up. But some ex-schoolmates apparently bought the book, whatsapped me and told me that they had bought it and than after went on social media to hate on me, about my looks, about me fabricating a tale, saying "Jolene's Story" was all fake and I wrote it to gain fame, earn money and gain sympathy.
Would you actually tell the whole world that your step-father had sexually abused you to gain fame? How ridiculous can you people get? I didn't choose to be sexually abused but I want to walk out of it and tell people about it not because I am happy to be violated but because I hope more girls can stop themselves from being violated! 1 particular ex-classmate even said that I thought I was some famous blogger, showing off on Twitter. Sweet strangers tweet me on twitter after reading my book and I appreciate all their valuable encouragement and feedback so I will retweet them and thank them sincerely for reading my story. I favorite all of their tweets because I know how to show appreciation. Who's the biggest loser out there? You people who are hating on me via social media, being hypocritical to me and all. WHY? Because you spent your money buying my book and also spent your time reading it. I may get affected by your hate for just a little while but after that, I am well again after my loved ones shower their concern and love over me.
Who do I think I am? I don't think I am anybody. I am still a normal person who has achieved her dream of being an author! I worked hard for what I want. I want to inspire a lot more people with my book locally and internationally. People say I am thick-skinned when I go and tweet famous celebrity icons to get them to read my book. Is it wrong to create awareness for my own book and do self-promotion? I write a book, it gets published.. Of cos I would want it to sell. Why would I want it sitting there in the bookstores without any owner?
If I really think that I am somebody, I wouldn't have to be working so hard to save for my school fees. I wouldn't be living life normally. I wrote in the book that I want to try acting. I go for auditions, I go for castings, I get rejected.. Life goes on and I try again! At least I am working hard for what I want right? I don't go to Geylang and sell my body or anything? I rely on nobody but myself. I could take the easy way out? Find a ultra-rich man, get married and just laze around but no, my life is filled with many hardships but it's okay, I'll find my way out of the hardships and make it through. I've had enough of you people taunting me and looking down on me. I have had it with my stepfather thinking he still has a threshold of making my life miserable. You people are super low-life and I can't be bothered to entertain any of you.
Call me ugly, call me a wannabe, call me a liar, call me whatever. I don't give a damn.
Till than. Xoxo.
Labels: Jolene's Story