Lets rewind back to 19thSeptember2008.
I gave you a chance to love me,care for me & to protect my heart.
I left it up to you to cherish the chance and show me how much I really meant to you.
In the beginning,I was treated very much like a princess
& I enjoyed every moment with you.
Eventually,from a princess
..I began to feel like I'm a servant.
I no longer taste the joy of being pampered,being your precious princess
You used to be able to sense it whenever I was down,even when we were only talking on the phone.
You used to drown me with your sugar words & endearments-posting amazingly sweet posts n my blog,surprising me with gifts that I yearned secretly,sending me texts that made me smile all day long.
Our first few quarrels.. When I pointed out your faults,you accepted them & apologized to me gracefully.
But as time passes,whenever I try to point out your faults... Instead of accepting & apologizing,you choose to rebuke me with several reasons & excuses.
I dare not say I know you very well.. but I do know you.
I know how egoistic you are & how mindful you are of your pride.
Maybe what people say are right.. Either you lose your ego or you lose the one you love.
In the past,when I heard my phone ring & it was you calling,I would feel so happy.
But now,how many times a day you take the initiative to call me to chat with me ?
We used to chat every single night without fail..
Even when we just got separated from each other an hour ago.
But now ? You will only call me when I text you saying.. "Call me"
I don't want to only list out your flaws.
You are a good man. Someone who is practical & nice.
But several times I have reminded you even as the physical you change with the surroundings,your love for me has to remain constant.
That is the only thing I demand.
When I come across random blogs of lovers,I envy them terribly.
The girl will start her posts by saying today her boyfriend fetched from her home to this xx place to surprise her etc etc.. You get the drift..
Guys don't usually blog. But when they do,it is often about their ladies.
They fawn over their girlfriends like they are priceless jeweleries.
Gems & diamonds.
Their Msn nicknames goes like ... " XX loves XX. She's my baby girl & I love her lots ... etc "
I know the worst thing in the world is to compare.
But I'm not comparing..
Any normal human would feel the same way as me..
Typically any girl would think "Wow,why doesn't my boyfriend treat me like that?"
We are not being greedy at all.
We just want the men in our lives to give us the same amazing loving feeling they gave us while they were wooing us.
Is that considered unreasonable ??
We are not even asking you to kneel down & proclaim your love for us to the world.
I felt so unwanted this morning.
All you cared about was yourself.
Did you ask me how was my headache?
Was I tired?
My body was aching so badly as I did not have a good sleep with you pushing me to the edge of the bed unknowingly.
But you did not know.
You would ask me why I did not say.
But since you did not ask,why should i say ?
The only thing you did was wake up happily anytime you want & proclaim that you want to head to school than off you go.
I was so invisible.
You neither cared nor bothered.
You make me feel that all my efforts are meaningless. You make me feel that you're unappreciative of the things I've done. You make me feel that I'm such a lousy girlfriend. Whatever it is, I've done my part. Have you?
And yes, REMEMBER what I told you.
When you feel like you don't want to be a
大少爷 anymore,than come & look for me.
Or else,continue being a happy boss in your happy life revolving around yourself.There are times when I cant decide whether to see you or not, I want to see you because I miss you but there are times when I don't want to see you because every time I do, the fact that you don't see me the way that I see you hurts me even more ...
Love is a precious gift that people
try to hold onto until the end of time,
even when there is nothing left to hold.
On a lighter note,I am going to meet Karen for bible studies later.
Can't wait !!
I will upload photos of Eugene's birthday celebrations during the weekends.
No mood now :(
My head has been pounding for days.
This horrible headache just won't go away!!