JoleneSnow -Girl who went through hell to finally meet heaven.
An Open Letter to Cherlynn @twiinklex @cherreading.
Friday, December 29, 2023

Hi Cherlynn, hope you are doing fine! 

This is a public response to your public review on Goodreads which has a database of about 140 million members worldwide. 

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and giving a review/feedback after buying, using or engaging something/someone is perfectly normal behavior. I appreciate your anticipation of wanting to read my memoir and also am flattered at the fact that you had really high expectations before you started on my story. 

Being an author was my main dream and ambition and I achieved it at age 22 despite my story being somewhat subpar and mediocre. I accept your constructive criticism but despite it being primary school writing, a renowned top publisher in Singapore still decided to publish my book and I wrote the manuscript when I was only 18 years old so you are right about one thing, it is a teenage girl's diary indeed 😁 And just to let you do a fact check, whether or not do I have the time to publish a second book is up to my free time and my ability to write because despite being such a lousy book, you should have seen the response I gotten from publishing this book in 2012 to 2013 and the many interviews that I had which is all found online. 

To be objective, you were giving a review in 2019 for a book that was published in 2012. That is a 7 year time frame and my last post here on my blog was in 2017? 

If you did read it correctly, I am glad to inform you that I was released from Girl's Home without any extension which means that I was reformed and to be called incorrigible, one would think that I had murdered someone or even commited arson. I am not sure which part of my primary school writing made you feel that I was incorrigible but I do admit that I was still a rebellious teenager who did not like to study. I made my fair share of mistakes and might have offended people who trusted in me and there is no excuse for that even though I was 15 but at least I dare to speak up about it in my mediocre book. 

Moaning about my sucky life is my choice and my decision and I handled it the way I wanted to handle just like how you moaned about my sucky book and spending your precious time writing such a long paragraph on it. 

I am happy with how my life turned out and I am happy that I broke the law before and faced all the consequences that I mentioned about in the book. 

Thank you for laughing at my love-life as well because as long as this blog had existed in 2008 till I published my book till say 2016, I had only posted about 1 guy and now I am getting married to my fiancé in 2024. As a fellow Singaporean, and as a teenage girl who went to a neighborhood mixed school, isn't having crushes something very normal and part of every teenager's life? I mean I am sorry if I did not live up to your expectations of being a good girl studying hard and instead having little crushes in school and basically not being your ideal type of person who only love a person and get married with them and settle down quietly... but hey, what exactly do you know about me? 😅

Friends come and go yes, I guess this is part & parcel of life? I am extremely happy for you if your friends stay with you through all years of your life. You said that either I hate them or love them and there is no grey area? Girl, you got that right. This is basically who I am and I give no shit about not having to sit at the same table with you if I do not like you. Why waste my time pretending I like a person if they are no longer aligned with my goals in life and there is no way that the friendship can work out? Why do I need a grey area? 

At the end of the book, I was still in my early twenties and I am not very sure if  I had matured or not but... how would you know? I never knew your name till I chanced upon your libelous review. Do I have to report to you at which age do I fully mature or did I mention at any moment in my book that I am a full grown adult at the end of my story? Even as of today, I am still a child at heart and I still look like a child and I am happy being immatured. 😏 

I am blushing now thinking of the fact that you took the time and effort to look for me online and found nothing about me and getting your own self-acclaimed equation that I am a nobody and have accomplished absolutely nothing. So to put into perspective, if someone is not talked about online or on google, it means they are a failure? A glance at my defunct blog in 2019 (the date that you wrote your review) made you assume that I was still a shallow individual but in 2019, I am already a high-flyer earning a more than stable income and travelling to many places. If you had went through every posts to in the end define me as one with many shallow relationships than I guess you had went to the wrong blog? I had 1 relationship throughout the whole time this blog was alive. Don't base your assumptions by scrolling through a stranger's life and staging a whole facade of your own slanderous presumptions. 

You would think that someone who has been through so much and documented all of that in a book would have amounted to something more in life, but unfortunately that's not the case.

I wouldn't be writing this if I had not read the above sentence but do I know you? Do you actually even know anything about me other than the childhood that I wrote about in my memoir? You hate on someone so blatantly after reading the biography they wrote and for the fact of the matter, you read it willingly with no one forcing you to do so. I am all good if you gave your honest review and said that you hated the book because well it is boring and it sucks or whatsoever but you painted this whole picture of the author - Me! being all scandalous, rachet, promiscuous and simply a good for nothing a failure just because you found nothing about my successes or what I had achieved thus far online? I started working since I was 15 and has never took a cent from my mum ever since then and I rely on no one to be who I am today so I do not have to answer to anyone's queries if they find nothing about me online but hey have you seen my Linkedin profile though? 😝 Who are you to even call out a stranger and tell them that they have amounted to nothing in life? Never have I ever mentioned anywhere that it was to be a memoir of inspiration, redemption or love. It was a story of abuse that I had to get it out to prevent other victims from keeping quiet. I did not aim to be another Chicken Soup for the soul. At least at 20 year old, I had a memoir to share rather than write degrading and untrue slander of someone I barely know. 

Did you ever think twice and thrice before writing such a derogatory review of someone you barely even know? This review is public and with the number of members on this platform and being a review that appears on google search, do you have any idea on the repercussions of your remarks? 

I was a victim of cyber bullying before from my previous blog posts and despite that, there are still people like you with a reasonable amount of more than 6k followings on your channels, writing public opinions like this that are degrading and not having any responsibility for the words that you spewed recklessly. 

I understand that the review was posted 4 years ago but being an online review, it is there forever and whoever who wants to even buy the book or know about it will see it. I guess you don't see the repercussion of it being a slanderous content where there is so much false information about the author of the book. Tbh, I laughed so loud reading that review because I was wondering who the hell are you and did I ever like meet you in any business meetings and tried to sell you something you did not like? Based on your review & even before anyone intends to read the book, people are already thinking that I am a good for nothing who wrote some gibberish that is not worth their time. 

You might think that I should bring this up personally to you but did you choose to do that after reading this book? Did you email me/ follow me on IG/ add me on Facebook since you was actively looking me up on social media and asking me anything to know more about me? Well, you chose to write a public defamatory review of someone you barely even know and being totally irresponsible of your words and how it will affect me or anyone around me. All you did was dig up a defunct blog of mine and jump to your own conclusions. 👏 You read my book and you knew that I am not someone who can accept injustices so in all fairness to you, here is my open and public response to you! 

Be more responsible of what you are posting online because there are always unintended consequences . If I am an author who is just starting out and relying on the sales of my books to get by, imagine what your review would have done to someone who is trying their best to get by in life and how you would have ruined them and their career based on untrue facts. 

Happy 2024 to you and just to share, I guess I am successful enough to be able to afford $68 for Grab. 😎Hope that this alleviates your concerns towards me. 

Be mindful of your words, what you say can be remembered for a lifetime. 

Grudges - 怨气。
Friday, December 29, 2017

Yes. Grudges.

This is what I would want to let go of as 2017 is coming to an end. These grudges accumulated in 2016 and because I was in no mood to actually blog a single thing that year till now, I am prepared to list out all the bitterness now to finally release them and make sure they disappear for good. The accumulation of them has made me a very cynical and bitter person and I never used to be like that.

I love people and I loved life. I was always the one who'd be 100% willing to do anything for anyone and I was always putting others first but I was always treated like trash in the end. Worse than trash at times.

I keep receipts, I bear grudges. And now I shall thrash it all out here so that I can be free from resentment in the year to come.

For all the ones who took my separation with Jxxxx in 2016 as a chance to take a dig at me or use it to emotionally stab me with your "innocent" comments, I would like to applaud you because I struggled with depression and I struggled with the feeling of ending my life, every single day. I was at the roof of carparks alone almost every night and crying my eyes out and smoking and just wanting to die. I was there for you all not only as someone's girlfriend but I was there for you all as a true friend and always being the first to plan and first to help and first to go the extra mile but I saw all of your true colors at the end. I remember every single one of you who did nothing and KNEW nothing but had the MOST to say.

LOOK AT WHAT YOU ALL MADE ME DO. Here is the shoe, feel free to wear it.

I will always remember the one that manipulated my friendship for the sake of his own love life. I will always remember that you asked me for advice after your gf cheated on you and got pregnant with another man but you used me to trigger her and told her that I was the one who got close to you and in turn saying I was a slut going around breaking people's relationship. You went around telling people I got close to you and ruining my reputation because you could not get me/ you could not get what you wanted. I will remember you using my selfie as your Skype display photo and everyone coming to ask me what the hell happened between us when the fact was that you was the one who kept coming to look for me? If I was ruining your rship/life... shouldn't I be the one that is using your photos everywhere on my social media platform? Are you actually mentally well? You misused our friendship and you also misused those who gave you a job when you had none. Never bite the hand that feeds you and lucky that you are no longer in my life because I hate ungrateful people. I detest you.

But look at you now? Your ex is happily married with more kids and I am also happier now.

I will remember all of you who went around slandering me and I will also remember all of you who actually listened to those rumors and believed them without asking me for my side of the story. I will remember all of you who left me the second that drama unfolded. People believed those whom they knew for months rather than the one that they have known for years but this is life and I accept that. They will hear what they wish to hear and judge however tf they want because they feel that they are the most righteous.

Thank you for unfriending me, I deserve better.
Thank you for judging me, I deserve better.

If you kindly remember when you said "I think Jolene broke them up and his ex don't deserve this"...... Well, walls have ears.

I am not perfect and I made mistakes in my 8 years with Jxxxx and I faced them but I have never ever ruined someone else's relationship or engagement even. If I had this ability, I would rather be ruining some rich ass motherfucker's rship/wedding/engagement rather than someone from the same workplace. I am not that stupid and neither am I Angelababy. If I had wanted to ruin someone's relationship/engagement, I would have done it way earlier and not till the period where they were going to wed, I am no superhero yo. If I was someone like that, I wouldn't have invested 8 years of my youth for Jxxxx.


我没有处理好我,J 和 B 的感情事是我的错,可是我没拆散人家的婚姻/感情.

"12 years I've known him and never once before have I ever seen him smile so happily and blissfully until this photo." 

This particular and "innocent" comment also made me ruin my Christmas in 2016 and made me cried the whole night away. I never did any harm to you before in my life and I just wanted to say that I gave my all in the past to his friends and his family whom almost all of his friends, I still stalk all their social media to actually know their well-being and seeing everyone getting married and settling down and being happy makes me happy. However, that night when I read this comment - it made me realize that I was nothing to all of you. I can accept being criticized and being talked behind my back cos after all I am not your direct friend and of course everyone whom I considered a friend before will just stop being friends with me because I am no longer his partner but I truly cherished each and everyone of you all in the past and if you all have nothing nice to say, I find it better not to say it anything or at least not say it openly on a platform like Facebook where you KNEW that I would read. I knew you wrote it on purpose and I will remember that. Thank you! 

I am not listing all these out to stir shit again or to unfold any drama again because I am a petty little bitch but because all these bitterness have been stuck in me for so long that it is affecting my mental health.

I am letting it all out in the best way I can and which is through my writings. I missed writing and I realized that writing is really the only way to let it all out. I don't want to seek a psychiatrist as I don't want to be controlled by drugs and I want to get well from my own willpower.

29th July 2016 - First day in Cambodia and it was for my first mission trip but unbeknown to C & SY who were on the trip with me... I wanted to die there. I had planned my suicide and I had wanted to just get lost there where no one knew me. I had told myself that it was a one-way ticket and that I never wanted to come back to Singapore to face all these people and all these comments and all these whisperings in my head. I hear voices in my head even up till now. Do you know how terrible that feels?

I texted the only one person that I knew who had not passed his judgement on me despite all these drama and told him that I appreciate him being the only one that actually fought for me as a friend. It was 4am and I was leaving for my flight and he appeared at the airport and told me not to give up and told me that this trip might be a life-changing event for me and that I might feel better after seeing those kids in Cambodia. Still, I was adamant.

This was the face of a girl who had planned her suicide a week before she flew for her first volunteer trip. I was selfish but I dare not die in Singapore. If I made that fateful decision to do so in another country, that was because I did not need to do it in a place where I know all my loved ones are around. Sorry C and SY! Sorry that you had to know it this way. When we checked into the hotel, the first thing I did was to say that I need to take a walk and I left them to settle down... I walked and walked and walked the streets outside the hotel not knowing what to do. I needed to find a way to die and I wanted it to be quick. I walked and walked and hyperventilated and cried and I called the person who sent me off at the airport. I forgot how the conversation was but I kept telling him that I wanted to die and he kept calming me down and I just told him that I want to disappear and I do not wish to see anyone anymore. No one knew of this but I got talked out of my suicide plan and I made it through the rest of my volunteer trip. 

Well, the lowest kind of girl on the pyramid came back stronger indeed. However, I bear no hatred in my heart and writing this all out is to let go of it all. I want all these grudges to go away and I do not want to remember them anymore. Out of sight, out of mind. 

 Goodbye to all the pain & grudges and hurt in 2016. I hope that I will never plunge myself into depression again. I hope that I never had to give up on anything precious ever again because I gave up something super precious in 2016 and it was the biggest regret in my life. I hope that I will be done with all the self-blame and all the trauma of thinking of myself as a burden. Good riddance to all the negative vibes. 

 2017 was rocky but it was fine because I kept a low profile and I held my head high despite the fact that I struggled between giving up on my job to run away from all the incessant voices in my head telling me that everyone hates me and is talking shit about me but I held on nevertheless. 

May 2018 be a year that I will truly and really love myself first. The rest will fall into place, I hope. 

Behind the glamour.

Who says a wayward kid will stay wayward forever? ™
Better Known as SNOW
I'm an Author, Entrepreneur and Glutton all in ONE!
12th October 1990, I'm a libran and lovin it!
I'm the author of (Jolene's Story), my first published memoir, a true life story under Marshall Cavendish!

-Wee Hwee Haw

Easily triggered emotionally and temperamentally. The perfect example of a girl who went through hell to finally meet heaven.

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Jolene's Story