My earlier post yesterday was about that friggin budget airline. But this post is gonna be even more interesting.

It's about my first time going for an audition for a movie. This was SUPPOSED to be my second audition but I missed the first one because I was leaving for Bangkok on that day. So my agent actually emailed me about this casting call & arranged for me to be there at 2pm. It was held somewhere in Katong, if I remember correctly.. Boyfr went along with me just to accompany me & give me some support. I was so nervous, I was practically shaking in the cab.

Once I reached the venue, I was told to fill up a form & than I was given a number plus a random script. The banner outside the venue said that anyone could audition for this movie so I told James to join it for fun. He declined though. Hahaha. My boyfr is such a private person while I am so attention-hungry! Yin-yang!

Anyway, I went through my script.. We were given the script in both Chinese & English and we could choose to act out whichever we chose to. I really sucked in my Chinese language. (God knows how I got A2 for my Nlevels seriously) but I found that the script in English sounded really weird. So it was Chinese for me. I was supposed to act as a relief teacher who's fiancé cheated on her.. The most important part about this role was to compose the right emotions. I thought that I could try to squeeze some years maybe? I had everything planned out in my head but I had like only 20% confidence in myself. Everyone looked rather dreamy, talking to themselves, rehearsing their scripts. My first experience with an audition and it was so interesting.

Honestly speaking, I knew deep down that I wouldn't be chosen because I wasn't prepared. I didn't know what to expect when I meet with the panel of judges. I presumed there would be like maybe 3 judges up there.. And maybe I could use someone as my cheating fiancé to make the act more convincing?

I was so anxious that I went to the restroom to pee & somehow when I went back, I had missed my number. So I informed the in charge & he arranged for me to be next! I was led to the stairs & I stood there listening to the lady that was acting with so much emotions in her voice. She had the judges attention in her hands, the applause that she received was just so loud! At that moment, I really felt like just leaving, giving up.. Seriously. I wanted to walk away. I knew I couldn't make it. But I had gotten cold feet 2 years ago when I applied to join Star Search, got a priority slot and than decided not to go for it. So I thought... This time I'm just gonna go for it.

So my turn came, I walked up the stairs and there were like SO MANY judges. I think there was like 8? My nerves had gotten over me & I just dare not look at anyone of them. I was told to hold my number up, take a photo and start.... And shit. The perfectly memorized script in my head just vanished. And I didn't know what to do. So I,as expected.. Screwed up. I just babbled some nonsense, tried to be sad... Ok, I was really sad. Not cos of e script but cos I knew I was wasting the judges time.. Looking at my stupid act. I failed badly.. And I ended e act rather awkwardly. All I received was some pathetic encouraging nods from the judges as if telling me "You suck, but at least you tried."

I knew how badly I did and I felt so sorry for wasting the judges' time. But after all, I learnt! I was brave enough to go for it, experienced it & well, just do what I wanted to do. Doesn't matter that I didn't get any roles cos at least I tried! (Self-comfort)

Here are a few photos which I was tagged in on Facebook.

You all may judge, may laugh or criticize but I don't care. It was an experience for me, I enjoyed it somehow! Many others out there don't even grab hold of the opportunity!

I looked pale,my face was cramped but still you all can see the tinge of sadness right? Come on.. Say yes? Hahaha.

That's all for now.

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This is the THIRD time I am writing in to you, CUSTOMER CARE DEPARTMENT. I am completely disappointed with your company, who was supposed to be the BEST budget airline in Singapore. My boyfriend, James, has written in maybe 3 times? So together we have written in to you for 6 times. I REPEAT, SIX TIMES. So you think we have all the time to write feedback forms to your side everyday??? EVERY SINGLE TIME we write a feedback form over to your side, it is EITHER we DO NOT get any reply or we get a stupid auto generated reply saying we need to WAIT 15 days for the issue to be resolved. You keep telling us 15 days, 15 days, 15 days.. HOW MANY 15 days do we have to wait? We were promised a $250 voucher for EACH PASSENGER from your side at the Bangkok international Airport when our flight was overbooked. All we got was two pathetic $100 voucher, I think we definitely deserved more than this for this stupid ordeal we were put through, Do you know the time and effort we have wasted just to settle this issue? FIRST, flight overbooked, we received a lesser compensation than promised. Second, we called the hotline several times, sent feedback forms several times and NOT ONCE did we receive any follow up calls from your side AT ALL. You guys have FAILED SO MANY of your customer service guarantee and NOT ONCE did you all try to appease customer or provide a PROPER SATISFACTORY compensation for all these. We asked for the compensation, it took weeks. For the receipt for the refund, it took weeks. We needed the receipt urgently to send it to our insurance agent to claim, it took weeks. Everytime we call your incompetent hotline, all we received was a reply that WE HAVE TO WRITE IN so that the customer care department can do something. AND AFTER we write in, we have to wait for 15 working days, We received replies saying that "We are sorry Ms, but we are the reservation department so we cannot do much but to escalate this issue to our customer care department." When I asked to be transferred to the customer care department, IT WAS NOT POSSIBLE. Why?? Than what is the department for? To hide behind the computer and send automated replies telling us to wait 15 days? Please enlighten me. The MOST RIDICULOUS issue was that whenever your side send us the receipt or did the transfer of our refund, we RECEIVE NO CALLS OR EMAILS to inform us. We need to call in EVERY single time TO FINALLY find out that OH my receipt has been sent, OH the refund has been done. We were told that our refund was transferred on the 1st of March 2012 but when we checked the banking accounts, there was no money transferred. We called to inform your company but guess what was the reply? "Our system shows that the transfer is done, if you did not receive, you have to write a feedback form to us." AGAIN! So another stupid 15 days of waiting YET AGAIN. Have you all ever stood in our shoes for all these trouble we had to go through? You write this on your website --> [ We strive to make every part of your experience with us uncomplicated, pleasant and enjoyable. That’s why we have over 7,000 people doing their very best, all day, every day, to get you to where you want to go.  }.. Sorry, EVERYTHING was complicated, it was NOT PLEASANT that we could not go on the flight we booked and it WAS NOT PLEASANT to be told that our flight was overbooked, we had no choice but to wait 12 HOURS LATER. This stupid process to get the refund and compensation from your company was NOT A BIT of enjoyable at all. YOU KNOW THAT? You understand how we feel? Every time I call the customer service hotline, I try my best to speak in the NICEST tone possible and not vent my frustrations on them BECAUSE I know they did not cause this. I stood in the place of your personnels to not ruin their day but WHO IS going to UNDERSTAND ME? The MOST hilarious situation happened. It took US a whole month to finally UNDERSTAND WHY our refund did not came into our account. Our account number started with [ 209 ] and your side actually TRANSFERRED to an account starting with [ 009 ] .WHAT IS THIS? Please tell me. We only managed to FIND OUT because we called over to your hotline and demanded for the transaction details FOR US to INVESTIGATE ourselves. It was only TODAY, 30th of March 2012, 30 days after the transaction that we finally FOUND OUT what was wrong, We DID inform you that we did not receive the refund, BUT THAN did you all do any investigation AT ALL? It is now the beginning of April, it has been ONE MONTH PLUS since our flight. When we spoke to your customer service personnel and told them that you guys have transferred to the wrong account, the reply we received was          "We are sorry, but the account number is indicated in the system" It SEEMS that there was nothing you all can do?? Nobody offered to help us rectify the situation, we have to call YOUR SIDE and ask "HOW ARE YOU ALL GOING TO RECTIFY THE SITUATION?" So we were told ONCE again to write in this FEEDBACK FORM, and wait for another 15 days (WHAT'S NEW?)...I called the bank and the bank said that your company MUST inform them so that they can DO SOMETHING. So WHEN WILL YOUR COMPANY inform the bank for us and do something? We want to see our refund. Will this feedback of mine receive any reply? I shall wait and see.

What should I blog about? Is there anything to say?

Changes at work has caused me so much sorrow. The useless new "manager" is just useless. He is lazy, irresponsible and he just loves to push all the shit to me, to settle on my own. He is suppose to support and help us. Bullshit. He does nothing of that sort.

Screw him. I still have to bear with him for a month more. Goddamnit.

Today, I saw something and instantly I turned into a miserable fag. I thought that work was miserable enough already but guess what? Someone else had to dig up more poop and add into the pile I already have.

Why is this happening? Why? Why is it happening when I thought that everything had ended.

Over & over again, GrM put me through those shits, those debts. I pulled through. But up till now as you can see with your own eyes... The trust for GrM is already gone. We are no longer as close as before. Would you want the same thing to happen between us? Are you sure?

The very last time, you told me that it was the final, it was the last. And now the same old script gets played again. The hesitations, the lies.

I gave you a chance to be honest, to open up. I asked and yet you lied. You should know that I know it very well whenever you lie to me. Your body language tells it all. I saw that text, I heard the calls. I gave you a chance to be honest, I asked but you didn't take the chance.

Stolen my money, stolen my phone. Lied to me over and over and over again? Is this karma? Is this my retribution for lying to you when I was a child? I have never ever done anything against you before. I have never forsaken you or beaten you up like many other people had. I've asked you many many many times before already.... If you need money, ask me, ask and I will give it to you.

What do you want from me? I am already going through so much shit at work.. what else do you want seep away from my soul? Do you want me to give you my life? I really do not know when you would change. You know how much I hate all these, and you yet just continue to do them over and over again. I feel so stupid, I feel like I am just a stupid idiot to let you fool over and over again.

Serious shit. You treat me very well in all other aspects but this is one big problem that you have to overcome yourself. I will not be an idiot anymore.

No longer your muse.